February 13, 2012

Where is the Church going?

"Where is the Church Going" Panel Discussion from Claremont on Vimeo.

It was an honor to attend this in person.  It captures so many questions, concerns and expectations for the future of our faith.

May 3, 2011

The Power of Vulnerability: A Talk by Brene Brown

A brilliant talk by Brene Brown from www.TED.com

Read The Bobo Blog

April 27, 2011

Preach it Shane!

This is why I love what Shane Claiborne is doing in the name of Jesus.

Read The Bobo Blog

April 3, 2011

Now on Burnside: A Reason to be Angry

In my youth, I was scared out of listening to non-Christian music. It was the "devil's music" and it had "no redeeming value." Names like Judas Priest and Megadeth proved the argument in my childish brain. After all, they did use the Lord's name in vain and a whole slew of other "heathen profanities."  Right? For years I shied away from rock music in general and felt comfortable hunkered down in my fundamentalist shelter. (I laugh and shiver inside remembering how Chicago was ground for trouble in my suburban Christian context!)

Much to my parents' disappointment, I gently eased in to the world of secular music during my junior high and high school years. R.E.M. and U2 used some religious references so I felt emotionally safe. This naïve notion failed to consider Michael Stipe's openly bisexual lifestyle, which should have immediately ruled out any acceptance of his music. Bono's alter ego Mephisto in the Zoo TV Tour didn't help the cause either. Consistency hardly motivated my choices. As I familiarized myself with the "worldly" music, I remember feeling so afraid of this new reality opening itself to me. Could it be that my parents and their friends were right? A fear-induced caution to music left me years behind the curve on the latest, greatest music. And for that, I feel robbed.

Continue...

February 18, 2011

Surrogate Families

photo © 2007 Stuart Richards | more info (via: Wylio)

The family is no longer a home in our time. It is no longer safe to be with family or at home. Many of us in our late twenties and thirties have parents whose poor choices in the 60s and 70s left us to experience the weight of their irresponsibility. We have been the caretakers for our parents in emotional, practical, spiritual, and psychological ways. Marriages that ended in divorce or in emotional disconnection in the 80s and 90s have left us in the 2000s to be the surrogate husbands or wives - stuck in the middle of two warring parties whom we love.

It is extremely difficult to admit this to our parents and ourselves. Even if we have a unique relationship that is transparent enough to consider these harsh conditions, it is nearly impossible to sit down and talk through the pain, disappointment and frustration we all experience in this generation of familial brokenness. We are the ones who suffer these things silently. The break up of marriages across North America has left our generation to face some brutal realities.

Where do we go from here? If there is no home among ones closest kin where else can we turn?

Some have turned to local churches. It is tempting to see the Biblical language of familial relationships and expand what God intended spiritually into a substitute family. I can attest first hand that the Church was never intended to replace our parents and siblings. Simply calling fellow members "brother" and "sister" does not supplant biological equivalents. Seeing pastors and leaders as father or mother figures is dangerous. I was deceived as a younger man and I pray that others may hear my warning before making similar mistakes.

In specific cases, orphans and widows who are lacking these tangible connections should see the Church in this way since they literally have no other family. For those suffering loss the Biblical language of family touches deep wounds and helps account for the loss of biological relations. Although church relationships may become a substitute family in unique cases of abandonment or death, it was never intended to supplant the biological family.

For the majority of us who have living breathing relatives, there is a huge temptation to disengage. This is the very context in which one can be a positive influence for Christ. Our families need us to be examples and witnesses of Christ's love to them. Candidly, it is difficult to face those closest to us with the compassion of Christ. It is perfectly okay to admit this. Quitting on the family is inexcusable. The impatience or awkwardness one feels in spiritually engaging his family is no excuse to relinquish one's sense of responsibility as a member.

I met this personally in a young congregation where extreme conversions were the norm. In particular, newer Christians who did not have solid emotional ties to their parents and siblings cherished the opportunity to have other "family" members who saw the world similarly. Oftentimes this positive connection to the church increased the struggle with their biological families. "Why can't ______ believe in Christ?" was a staple question I confronted in counseling sessions with them. This is a normal growth process that all of us with family members with other religious persuasions must learn to confront.

Since churches include members with strong familial bonds there is another issue to discuss. Unfulfilled expectations may instill intense disappointment. The peak of membership in a new family can lead to the crash of alienation. The sense of abandonment from both biological and spiritual families may result. Individuals whose unhealthy expectations are placed upon the church often become disillusioned upon realizing others do not have the same degree of emotional ecstasy in simply belonging. Frustration may quickly set in once this emotionally fragile person sees their local church for what it really is intended for. He or she may feel conned when the language of family is misappropriated. The intense connectedness initially increases the potential for a painful departure from the church.

If this is not bad enough, we have suffered the fate of the unfortunate emergence of smooth talking preachers lamentably found on television. We have suffered their follies, their false promises, their flattering words offering a better life full of all the bliss and joy we have been longing for. Get rich and get holy quick schemes do not produce genuinely righteous living. What does it cost us? How do we get it? Give them money, buy their books, promote their products, wear their t-shirts and you will see. Far from being fatherly and motherly figures, these leaders have likewise proven to be suspect. Once again the issue is the expectation for pastors, ministers and clergy to replace the massive psychological void left by the broken family. This is a major concern that we need to call to attention.

The problem is not with the Church. The problem is not so much with the language either. The danger comes from misapplied familial terms and the elevation of spiritual relationships. Beware of pastors who may try to replace your fatherly or motherly bonds. Beware of overly connected church groups who rely upon this language of family to evoke guilt feelings or intensify responsibility to the group's mission. These are huge red flags. The Church is not supposed to be a literal family, but an agent of healing for broken families. If you find yourself becoming more frustrated with your biological family and wish to spend more time with your church members, it is time to stop and take an emotional inventory. The Church exists to mend broken relationships. Christ and his Church are agents of reconciliation.

The real problem begins with our families. We need to admit this state of affairs and work on restoring family bonds within broken and blended families. The Church cannot fill this void. It was never meant to. Seeking a surrogate family in the church will only leave one feeling hollow and frustrated. We need to begin by addressing the true problems and not just the symptoms.

I pray this will help bring a voice to some of the silent cries we have felt in this generation. It is time to talk about these things with those closest to us. Christians beware. You have one family. One biological family. Let your church serve its purpose and you will know how to be in a family as a Christian. This is hard and emotionally taxing, but it is Christ's intention for his Church.

Read The Bobo Blog

December 7, 2010

Now on Burnside: Compassion

Burnside just published a piece I wrote about compassion. Max Lucado has recently proposed that compassion is our best apologetic. I completely agree and take it a step further as a universal ethic. Please read and comment on Burnside's site.

Read The Bobo Blog

October 20, 2010

Lord Save Us from Your Followers

This is exactly what 22nd century faith must address. Why is the Gospel of Love Dividing America? It is exactly what I pray we can realize as a global Church. The pre-believing world is looking for salvation from us - from the followers of Christ. Not from their sins. Not from their despair. Not from their future in hell that awaits. The fear is increasingly of us. The hell fire, brimstone message is not working anymore. The legalistic rules and requirements of Fundamentalism only alienate and confirm reasons not to believe. We must awaken to the reality of how we have been perceived. It is not their fault. It is not the world's problem. It is our lack of a loving, relevant form of communication. We are outmoded and anachronistic. The first step is acceptance.

Read The Bobo Blog

October 15, 2010

Acceptance vs. Accommodation

The Jesus I Never Knew and Church: Why Bother? illustrate the value of honesty and acceptance. Yancey is one of my favorite authors because he is not afraid to ask honest questions about the Church’s mission. The key to his approach is in the truth that acceptance is not accommodation. Acceptance is the willingness to see the other person for who they are – no matter what they believe or what they do – and to remain committed to one’s own beliefs. Accommodation is yielding one’s beliefs to those of another. The Church of the 22nd century must accept the world, not accommodate it.

Read The Bobo Blog

September 16, 2010

Vindication (or my addiction to change affirmed)

photo © 2007 LASZLO ILYES | more info (via: Wylio)

Recently I have discovered that I am in good company. Any of you who have read me for any length of time realize that I my addiction to re-manipulating this site is beyond imagination, reason, words. I apologize, but I acknowledge I am a fool, trying to perfect the art of religious writing, which is clearly an impossible, and ridiculous, feat. Have we ever had more dialog, dispute, out right violence in human history on the religious scene? If so, I would suggest this is at least ranked among the most contentious periods of religious tension.

All that to say I realized that Scot McKnight of the Jesus Creed fame has recently moved from Beliefnet to Patheos. This puts me somewhat at ease. I am not the only one whose obsession with trying to perfect the imperfect and master the unmasterable is manifest for all to see.

Read The Bobo Blog

September 14, 2010

Eighth Letter

I am grateful to Rachel Held Evans for informing me about this upcoming event. Eighth Letter is something which has the potential to shake the North American Church if we have ears to hear and hearts to receive whatever may come.

I have chosen to speak from the voice of Jesus as I envision what He would say to us in North America in the style of the letters to the churches in Revelation.

Please comment below and share as you feel led.

Peace to you all.

~~~~~

A Letter from Jesus Christ to the churches in North America:

My precious children who have been given so much. I want you to know how much I love you, how much I gave myself for you, how much I have blessed and equipped you to reach my Creation. I pray you have ears to hear and a humble heart to listen to my pleas to you - for you.

You have been made a unique body for such a time as this. The future challenges you will face are going to require all the wonderful talents, abilities, strengths, resources, and convictions that you have been bountifully bestowed by my Father, by my Spirit and by me.

I simply state what I need from you so that you may fulfill all that is given you before my return.

I am the creator and sustainer of all life. The sanctity of life must be preserved in its entirety in my Church. I have given life and I need my people to preach a message of life. Remember this truth.

I am the savior. North American churches you are my Church. Allegiances are to me first. Everything else is secondary. The world needs a Church, not churches.

I am the peacemaker. Peace is first spiritual - a condition of the heart, which must start from within you churches into the World.

I am love and the lover of all souls. Love is willing to suffer with, laugh with, share with, bear with. Love is your commission. This is not merely acceptance of others as they are. Love is showing my love for you through you to the world.

I am the lover of sinners and the Judge of the self-righteous. Honestly assess yourselves. You are sinners whom I love. If you do not agree, you will meet my judgment.

I am the father to the fatherless and the defender of widows. See clearly whom you are called to serve and care for as a richly blessed Church. I will avenge and protect these precious ones. Woe to whomever exploits these for personal gain.

I am a missionary. You are my ambassadors. I now send you into the world to be my arms of compassion; my ears to hear the cries of distant lands; my eyes to see the outcast, the oppressed, the exploited, the lost, the despairing, the homeless, the helpless, the hopeless; my mouth to speak words of clarity, conviction, truth, and freedom; my legs to go and walk to the hardest places, the unreached people, the calloused hearts.

Go now, my Church, and be My Church. You have so much to do and so little time for your petty disputes. The time has come to be all that I have made you to be. You must be Christ to all. I commission you now until my return to fulfill your mission.

Peace be to you and to all those who call upon my Name.

Read The Bobo Blog